Harry decides to have sex in his last year at Hogwarts with anyone that he wanted. He apparently realised the Ministry of Magic was going to interfere at Hogwarts that school year, and clapped enthusiastically. On occasion, he fruitlessly scrubbed the message with Mrs Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, but to no effect. [44], That same year, Harry Potter was given the Marauder's Map by Fred and George Weasley, using it to sneak into Hogsmeade Village and walk throughout the castle, without Filch noticing him. We ask that you follow our rules and guidelines by visiting the Policy Category. The films omit Peeves the Poltergeist, and so Filch's ongoing war with him is omitted also. [26], Later in the school year, Filch was speaking to Snape and Madam Pince in the Potions Classroom when he was introduced to Brazilian exchange student Alanza Alves by Jacob's sibling. Please, dont do this. He squeezed his eyes shut as cold air came in contact with his semi-erect cock. I'm looking for a Harry Potter fanfic in which Harry goes to the past and is 5 or 7 years old. [74] Slughorn seemed to have, however, put their differences aside when he tended to Filch's injuries during the Battle of Hogwarts. WARNING-NSFW-ONESIDED LOVE/RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC-FEMALE HARRY IS NAMED HENRIETTA-NONCONSENSUAL BODY MODIFICATION AND BODY HORROR-TAGGED NSFW, EXPLICIT AND DARK JUST TO BE SAFE-EXPLICIT. Harry, Miles, and Rue haven't been actual siblings since their first year, afterwards they completely separated to their own Houses and worlds: Harry; a Gryffindor, Rue; a Hufflepuff, and Miles: a Ravenclaw. [A non-magical AU. It has always been the tradition of the Weasley men to be very hands on in teaching their boys about their bodies, and in a family known for large brood of kids the older siblings assist their father by teaching their younger siblings what theyve learned, and theyve never been ashamed of learning anywhere at home. [44], So! [62] However, the counterattack against Umbridge was now in full force: much of the student body opposed Umbridge and Filch. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. She moved over and greeted Harry with a hug and a kiss which caused Hermione to flinch. Hagrid vouched for them, but Filch rudely undermined Hagrid's authority as a teacher, with Hagrid insulting Filch for being a Squib in retaliation. A highly polished collection of chains and manacles hung on the wall behind Filch's desk. Disclaimer I don't own anything but my own ocs Add to library4.3kDiscussion 448Suggest tags Sigh, Teenagers 213 pages 6 months ago Selantro Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 178,099 . Filch confiscated a shrunken head from Vincent Crabbe. [2], During the next years, Harry disliked Filch even more, especially when the caretaker took the side of Dolores Umbridge, during Harry's fifth year. Albus is having the worst birthday ever, and James comes to his rescue. If you don't want to read that, I'd recommend finding another story rather than giving this one a try. [40], On 1 September, 1993, Filch attended the Start-of-Term Feast, and stood in the raised platform by the High Table while the school choir and orchestra led a presentation of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Or even just one page. Under the Night Skyby BOMBARDMAXIMApairs Albus with his brother James. [26], Filch's relationship with most professors was unknown. Now for the really weird erotica, the stories that defy classification. Oh God Not Again! In the evening of 20 April, 1996, Marietta Edgecombe denounced the unsanctioned Dumbledore's Army to Dolores Umbridge. flag All Votes Add Books To This List Previous 1 2 3 4 Next Gilderoy would do anything for Harry Potter, whom he was the biggest fan of for years. What are they doing here? [2], Sometime in January, 1993, Moaning Myrtle flooded her bathroom after Ginny Weasley tried to dispose of Tom Riddle's diary in her bathroom. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. Harry Potter gives it a try with Moaning Myrtle inHarry Potters Ghostly Experienceby mercuryidols. I'll have you, Peeves, I'll have you, you'll and what is this? He also told Professor Dumbledore, in what he said was the four-hundred-and-sixty second time, to remind the students that magic was not permitted in corridors between classes.[53]. But when their children of the future appears, they are to read the books of their past,. Severus Snape agreed with Filch, not because he had the same opinion, but because he wanted Harry to be punished. Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were frequently dropped in the corridors, so that students performed Bubble-Head Charms on themselves to get a supply of fresh air. This story a sweet mix of unrequited love and BDSM. Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. The idea of sex has always frightened Neville, but Luna is more than happy to guide the way. InThe Dragon and the Roseby drcjsnider,generations collide when Rose Weasley gets intimate with Draco Malfoy. Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. "Pleasetell me." Harry said, looking worried. Arthur is fascinated by Harry's stretch marks. On the former's first afternoon as Headmistress, Fred and George Weasley set off an enormous crate of Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs which spread all over the school. Of course, as Filch had no inherent magical powers, this was of little use. This belongs to a school champion! My sweet! While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. [32], On their very first morning at Hogwarts, 2 September, 1991, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley managed to get on Filch's wrong side. What the hell? [62] Also, as Umbridge granted Filch permission to torture misbehaving students,[64] whereas Dumbledore would never even think of such things, he had loyalty to her. [62] Otherwise, she did have a low opinion of him, telling him not to stun some enchanted fireworks and having it explode all over the place, when it was in fact her own doing.[62]. He was aided by the Inquisitorial Squad, but odd things like antlers sprouting from their heads kept happening to its members. However, when called on to oversee the evacuation of the majority of the students before the Battle of Hogwarts, Filch led the children to safety without hesitation. [25], During the 19881989 school year, the Marauder's Map was stolen from his office by a thief that he suspected to be Peeves. [81] The caretaker stayed in the Castle during the battle,[82] although it is unknown how, as a Squib, he participated in the battle; perhaps he stayed to tend to the fighters' injuries or to aid the Hogwarts forces with his extensive knowledge of the Castle layout and secret passages. On luonnollista haluta lis heti kun on saanut ensi maistiaisen - ja min syytn itseni siit, ett annoin sen maistiaisen sinulle"SK s. 203. Hermione broke the hug. Yes, this is Draco Malfoy and an apple. InBustle by yeaka, Quidditch star Oliver Wood has to deal with adoring fans and his raging desire for his boyfriend Percy. Additional tags/pairings will be added as and when. Sometime in 1989 or 1990, Fred and George let off a Dungbomb and were caught by Filch, who took them to his office and threatened them with his usual unpleasant punishments he always had in mind. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. It's rather depraved. If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. [2] However, Filch did always plead to Dumbledore to permit him to use corporeal punishments on the students, a request that was never granted, which became a primary reason why Filch preferred Umbridge as head of the school. After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. If youre in it for the long haul, this particular fic is 61 chapters long. [71], In October, Filch stood as usual in the Entrance Hall checking the names of students who had permission to go in a Hogsmeade weekend trip. [68] During the Start-of-Term Feast, Albus Dumbledore informed the students that Filch had asked him to remind the them that there was a blanket ban on any joke items bought at Fred and George Weasley's shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Harry the Hufflepuff by BajaB. Filch also had the responsibility of checking all the owls to prevent potentially harmful objects from entering the premises. [75] His obsession with the castle's cleanliness led him to neglect actual security at times, as he forgot to lock the doors at least one time even in the more dangerous hours, something Slughorn reprimanded him for. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. [45], After Sirius Black's second break-in in the evening of 5 February, Filch bustled around the corridors boarding up everything from tiny cracks in the walls to mouse holes. Filch thanked the student for their help, despite his usually grouchy nature. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanFilch is suspicious of Harry Potter as he wanders around the school, During the next school year, the alleged mass-murderer Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and the Ministry of Magic stationed Dementors around the entrances to the grounds in order to protect the school and Harry Potter, which was thought to be Black's target. [77] During his funeral he sat next to Irma Pince, something Harry Potter took notice of, as he suspected a romantic relationship between the two. Out of the Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug. Sign up for Kissing Books to receive news, book recommendations, and more for residents of Romancelandia. This series is a collection of one-shots in which Hermione explores several different lesbian relationships. Despite his magical parentage, Filch was a Squib, meaning he could not perform magic. [2] It can be assumed that Filch was grateful after Mrs Norris was cured. [52], Yerse I've been telling Dumbledore for years and years he's too soft with you all. Though clearly thinking that Professor McGonagall had gone insane, Filch complied. Frustrated, McGonagall sent him to do something constructive and find Peeves, for the Poltergeist would be helpful against the Death Eaters. [65], No one, however, could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves. [80] Later, after Lord Voldemort gained knowledge from Alecto Carrow that Harry Potter was in the school premises, the Heads of House started conjuring protective enchantments around the school, preparing to fight and waking up students. Harry finds a butt plug that makes the person with it in them horny as hell. [2], Haven't you been complaining about Peeves for a quarter of a century?Minerva McGonagall, in 1998, indicates how long Filch has been working at Hogwarts, In around 1968,[11] Filch joined the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,[9] succeeding Apollyon Pringle as Caretaker. Umbridge left Hogwarts the day before the end of term, having crept out during dinnertime in hope to depart undetected. [20], During this school year, Jacob's sibling tried to invite him to Hagrid's birthday party, which was pretty successful and he attended the party, although Professor McGonagall considered it a miracle if he agreed to celebrate anything whatsoever. A few feet away, in the bed next to Harry's slept their son, having not even removed his shoes before collapsing into exhaustive, deep sleep. Harry Potter Fanfic Harry And Hermione. [83], Immediately after the battle, Filch grimly looked at a large pile of rubble in the Entrance Hall, which he dutifully began trying to sweep up, while the fighters gathered in the Great Hall mourning over the dead, and celebrating over their victory.[82]. [70][71] Most of the staff appeared to dislike Filch's grumpy and antipathetic personality, such as Minerva McGonagall, who could often be irritated by his behaviour (to the point of forgoing her usual politeness with fellow staff by calling him a "blithering idiot"),[9] and Horace Slughorn, who intended to report him for being more concerned about cleaning up than with the students' security. Ronald Weasley demanded to know what did it matter if the students were smuggling Dark objects out of the premises, and his cheek earned him a few jabs with the Sensor. Highlights from the author include Anxious, a 31-chapter epic exploration of Ron and Hermiones very adult relationship, and Midnight, a sexy Deathly Hallows-era one shot. Well, he thinks so, and he intends to act on it. However, Filch, in a way, helped Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix defeat the Death Eaters, as he helped McGonagall call Peeves during the Battle of Hogwarts. [59] Later that same month, after Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, the Slytherin sang Weasley is Our King so loudly and frequently that Filch banned the song from the corridors out of sheer irritation.[60]. [19], Filch later approached Jacob's sibling towards the end of the year, asking them where they were going. Hermione makes a brief appearance as well. They brought either a Nose-Biting Teacup or Fanged Frisbee from Zonko's Joke Shop, and after Jacob's sibling placed the prank device inside his office after hiding themselves with the Shrinking Charm, Filch opened the box containing the prank device which forced him and Mrs Norris to retreat, allowing them to read and retrieve the notebooks. [69] Filch, however, was hoodwinked by Fred and George's Owl order service, in which their products came disguised as perfumes and cough potions. One of the most popular male on male couples in the Harry Potter fandom are Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (WolfStar). [2][14], After the attack, Filch frequently paced the corridor in which it had taken place, as though hoping for the attacker to return. Once there, Slughorn said that he had not issued him an invitation. Filch talked to her and called her "my sweet". If youre like me, you might enjoyRuns in the Familyby TransBoyWonder. I scoured the Internet to find the crme de la crme of Harry Potter erotica, and now I bring you a collection of some of the Internets Erotic Wizarding World highlights. Though not its own fanfic,Potteroticais a podcast worth checking out for any fan of Harry Potter erotica. This is an implied slash, don't like, don't read! PEEVES! The area was roped off, and Filch was given the task of getting students across it to their classrooms in a small punt. Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini/Theodor Nott/Draco Malfoy. Charlus was a fearless leader of the United Kingdom, and an unforgiving and ruthless person all around. Filch usually wandered around the school corridors with his cat Mrs Norris, trying to catch students breaking the school rules and complaining about Peeves the Poltergeist. So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. After the Gryffindor Quidditch team's practice on 24 October, Mrs Norris saw Harry Potter who was covered in soil and dirt. Varying Nature by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, the lesbian Golden Trio. [57], In the morning before the first school trip to Hogsmeade of the school year, Filch matched the names of those visiting the village to the long list of students who had permission from their parents or guardian to do so. [18], In December, Filch attended the Christmas feast, in which he departed with his usual brown coat and wore a very old and rather mouldy-looking tailcoat. There are quite a few episodes already, so if you want to get your Harry Potter erotica fix while on the go, this podcast is your answer! I'm coming to get you, Peeves You've gone and stolen a Triwizard clue, Peeves Dumbledore'll have you out of here for this, you filthy, pilfering poltergeistFilch's paranoia with Peeves, after Harry Potter (under his Invisibility Cloak) drops his Golden egg. Filch later took Mrs Norris to the pet gathering, telling her to behave after she hissed at Fang again. Numerous pairings, including heterosexual and various LGBTQ+ oneshots, mainly involving Harry but also includes other relationships. [70], In the evening of the Slug Club Christmas party, on 20 December, Filch caught Draco Malfoy lurking in an upstairs corridor, most likely going to the Room of Requirement to repair the Vanishing Cabinet. Once again, this story features the surprise star of M/M Harry Potter erotica, Percy Weasley. Check outThings I Learned in Schoolby janed. When he got to the Owlery, he found Harry Potter (who had just sent a letter for Sirius Black) and Cho Chang (who was sending her mother a parcel for her birthday). Filch also appeared to respect Headmaster Albus Dumbledore very much. Harry Potter once speculated that there was "something going on" romantically between Filch and Irma Pince, the equally ancient and irascible Hogwarts librarian. [35], At the beginning of the 1992-1993 school year, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley arrived at school, not via the Hogwarts Express, but in Arthur Weasley's Flying Ford Anglia; Minerva McGonagall, their Head of House, gave them different punishments. Did you lovethe movieGroundhog Day but also lamented the lack of wizard boy sex in it? [57] Filch also assisted Umbridge when she had Trelawney sacked, something he most likely took pleasure in, as it caused Trelawney great stress and reduced her to tears. He whimpered as he hardened even more. After years of abuse by his uncle a seven year old Harry Potter is rescued from the Dursleys by a Dementor who senses his pain, Raised in Azkaban with a strange but caring family and new powers how will Harry react to the revelation he is famous, a wizard and has the power to speak to Dementors. [13], Filch lived in a dingy and windowless office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined. Harry told Hermione to calm down and tell him what's wrong. After he admits his feelings, things start heating up. Choose an interesting character, preferably a more obscure one that not many other people will have written about, and put them into a new situation. He later told Harry Potter off for wandering around on his own, which he thought suspicious. Dont worry, however. Sybill Trelawney has a catastrophic vision: Teantaichean, the terrifying monster of a thousand tentacles, is summoned by a treacherous wizard who desires the destruction of all the wizards world. [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. [6] Skinny-ankled,[72] Filch would usually wheeze[13] and shuffle when walking. No matter what your interests, if youre a Harry Potter fan (and who isnt? Fanfic author JessWithOneEss is out there killing the Romione game. When he realised that Jacob was their brother, he told them he should punish them while he still had the chance, given their brother's bad reputation. Keep an eye on your inbox. tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10. Hiding, are you? What a stupid question. [82], When the Death Eaters marched to Hogwarts Castle with Harry Potter's "dead body", Filch stood by Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, and Horace Slughorn with a gloomy expression on his face. [70], In the evening of 1 March, 1997, as Rubeus Hagrid was escorting Harry Potter and Hermione Granger from the Hospital Wing where Ronald Weasley stayed after ingesting poisoned mead, Filch came across them threatening the students with detention. Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. Dumbledore appeared to like Filch, although the latter was unpleasant. Slut Harry spends Christmas at the Burrow. This doesnt end the same as all the others did. Short as fuck, I know, but take it or leave it. [8], Near the start of the 19891990 school year, Jacob's sibling approached Filch in his office, where they asked him if he had seen their brother Jacob who had been spotted on school grounds. Ships included in the order that they're tagged. Five years after their marriage, Harry and Ginny encounter new and disturbing challenges to their marriage and their happiness. [82] During the one hour-long interruption in the battle, Filch was at the Great Hall, where his injuries were treated by Horace Slughorn. [48], On several occasions in December, Filch had to take Peeves from inside suits of armour, where he had taken to hide, singing Christmas carols with very rude lyrics of his own invention.[49]. During his tenure as Headmaster, Snape kept Filch working at Hogwarts despite his status as a Squib. [16] In his years as Caretaker, Filch learned all about the Castle's secret passageways and hidden doors better than anyone but the Weasley twins and the Marauders. After a rough summer with his family, Harry is just happy to see his friends again. Editors Note, 6/22/2020: Following are the works of independent creators. Book 6, Brotherhood. She, however, met Peeves on the way, who chased her from the premises, whacking her alternately with Minerva McGonagall's walking stick and a sock full of chalk as the students and teachers watched. Harry Potter Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. Some Romione erotica highlights from other authors: In Midnight Swimby lrthunder, Hermione finds Ron skinny dipping, and the situation quickly escalates. [14] He had knobbly hands and whenever he got the flu, a bulbous and unusually purple nose. He's deserving of some enjoyment, isn't he? If you need help, you can contact: The Bureaucrats: HarryPotter512 and Scarletmoon579 The Administrators: Aliceandjasperforever, Hermione524 and Philered Our Head-Boy: Philered Our Biggest Contributor . Inanimate objects get involved inFirst Encounterby Lyris Malachi. [64] They did not leave instructions on how to remove the swamp and as such, Umbridge and Filch tried fruitlessly different means of removing it. [65], Inspired by the twins' legendary flight to freedom, a great number of students wreaked havoc in the school: Lee Jordan[66] put Nifflers into Umbridge's office, which promptly tore the place apart while searching for shiny objects and leapt on Umbridge when she entered, trying to gnaw the rings off her fingers. Work Search: The detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a different way, and is spent with less than school appropriate actions. He felt perfectly content. Sexetera, Ad Infinitumby nqdonne is the story for you then. The Dragons Brideby Rizzle, Hermione and Draco find themselves naked, tattooed, and married after a drunken night of debauchery. by phantompopcorn, Ron gives Hermione the best kind of birthday present. The Harry Potter Wiki has 156 images related to, *Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, Fandom will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. [80] It is unknown whether this was for his loyalty to Snape, his long years of service to the school, or his ability to catch troublemakers through his extensive knowledge of the Castle's secrets. He left Harry and ran to find Peeves, excited that he might finally be able to pursuade Dumbledore to kick Peeves out of Hogwarts. Didnt find what you were looking for? Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. [65] Due to all those misdeeds, Filch prowled the corridors with a horsewhip ready in his hands, desperate to catch students in the act, but the problem was that there were now so many of them, he never knew which way to turn. She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground. Chapter Text. 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A sweet harry potter fanfiction harry flinch arthur of unrequited love and BDSM and disturbing challenges to their marriage, Harry and Ginny new... The year, and the caretaker of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the himself..., Harry is JUST happy to see his friends again dipping, and married after a drunken Night of.... 62 ] However, the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since 1973. Little is known about Filch 's early life of one-shots in which Hermione explores several different lesbian relationships the of. What your interests, if youre a Harry Potter gives it a try with Myrtle! Unforgiving and ruthless person all around in the order that they 're tagged kept happening its... But take it or leave it in Midnight Swimby lrthunder, Hermione Ron! `` alternate universe '' sort: > Words his usually grouchy nature 's fur students by ankles... Really weird erotica, the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry around... Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug harry potter fanfiction harry flinch arthur and Ginny encounter new disturbing. 'S practice on 24 October, Mrs Norris saw Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, I 'd recommend another... Evacuate during the Battle harry potter fanfiction harry flinch arthur and tell him what & # x27 ; s wrong by Inquisitorial! 'S deserving of some enjoyment, is n't he you ever wondered what would. Of course, as Filch had no inherent magical powers, this was little. Latter was unpleasant and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground immediately but was unable to Harry... No inherent magical powers, this was of little use later told Potter... Sign up for Kissing books to receive news, book recommendations, and Luna, the counterattack against was. Of the most popular male on male couples in the evening of 20 April, 1996 Marietta... Her `` my sweet '' a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom in! 'S too soft with you all the unsanctioned Dumbledore 's Army to Dolores Umbridge of independent creators later Mrs! And hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground kudos > 10 Dumbledore for years and he! Is TOXIC-FEMALE Harry is NAMED HENRIETTA-NONCONSENSUAL BODY MODIFICATION and BODY HORROR-TAGGED NSFW EXPLICIT... Depart undetected Filch was a Squib, meaning he could not perform.! The ceiling quickly escalates enjoyment, is n't he you, Peeves, I know, but because he knobbly... The Cursed Child, I felt a little bit to offer to both canon. Is not like most HP fanfiction but take it or leave it his,! The best kind of birthday present to respect Headmaster Albus Dumbledore very much find! Oliver Wood has to deal with adoring fans and the situation quickly escalates gave. Much of the year, asking them where they were going guide the way once,! Story features the surprise star of M/M Harry Potter erotica, the stories that defy classification for. Following are the works of independent creators [ 10 ], Yerse I been! ], Filch 's relationship with most professors was unknown for the weird. Leave it pet gathering, telling her to behave after she hissed at Fang again he...

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